Suicidal Thoughts

My Music: Notorious B.I.G.- Suicidal Thoughts

    Rap is hardly my favorite genre. That isn’t to say that I don’t like rap, or that I don’t listen to it. In fact, I do listen to a fair bit of rap, but I’m aware of its limitations as far as artistic merit, for the most part. Too many rappers focus on their own wealth, their own sexual exploits, and their alleged position in “the rap game”  to honestly strike a chord with me. However, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t rap songs that deal with pressing social issues or even reveal a true portion of human nature. Songs like Eminem’s “Stan” or Kendrick Lamar’s “Swimming Pools” exemplify this, but I will instead focus on an older track, Notorious B.I.G.’s “Suicidal Thoughts.”

    Rappers seldom journey into the realm of self loathing, but I’ve found that when they do they often make something great of it. Never is this truer than in Christopher Wallace’s suicidal ramblings. Set up as a phone call to a friend in the middle of the night, this song delivers with an excellent flow and an even greater foray into the mind of a man who, on some level, hates himself. With lyrics like “I know my mother wished she got a [expletive] abortion”, Biggie is not portraying himself as the rich superstar that he was. Instead, he is utterly human, admitting a fear of disappointment so great it drove him to suicidal thoughts. It is not like rappers, particularly those of this day and age, to show such fear and to portray themselves as humble beings who have disappointed their mothers, but this is effective because we have all felt that very fear.

    Another equally powerful lyric “I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes,” further separates this song from the genre. Rappers generally consider themselves a big deal, but there is nothing more fundamentally human than wondering what will be left of us when we die. Wallace accurately sums up the feeling of uncertainty, wondering if he’ll be missed when he dies just as so many of us have. These are only small snippets of an excellent piece, but I feel that this song is great for two major reasons. The song is itself an excellent study of the human condition, specifically its darker elements. Furthermore, the song serves as a beacon of light in a genre that is overly commercial and often trite. If such great works of art exist in the rap genre, than others must surely exist as well, and they certainly do.